How Bachelor Men Think...

Today, I'm going to give you some insight into the minds, thoughts, and lifestyle of "Bachelor" men. In life, there are a varying degree of lifestyles, from the homeless, to the luxurious, to the family oriented, collegian, celebrity & more.
If you have ever wondered what that good looking, handsome, tall, All-American, non-married, happily single man is thinking, you will find out below. Why am I qualified to help define the Bachelor's thought process? Because I'm it, and have lived it to the fullest in NYC, Miami, & Austin.
We, the Bachelors', do not want to meet a girl with a boyfriend. We'd prefer not to. We especially do not want to be introduced to a girl's boyfriend. Secretly, we think we are more attractive, and more of an alpha-male, than any girl's boyfriend. In general, we think we are the answer. More acutely, we are gentlemen, and do not steal or snatch girls that are sealed & spoken for. We are respectful!
Bachelor's make a conscious effort to work hard, be financially successful, and also physically fit. We think that women are attracted to self supporting, fully employed men, who care about their professional careers and temple-like bodies.
Bachelor's try to present an intelligent, well traveled, poised, conversational, and finely fashioned personification. Think GQ Magazine. We strive to be well groomed, and look stout in society! We hope the opposite sex will notice this style and appreciate it.
Here is also a dark secret of the bachelorhood. Just like celebrity/actor/future politician George Clooney, we would entertain taking the plunge & marriage dive, BUT only if the perfect, beautiful overall lovable woman has been found, presented, and dated. Despite our playboy persona, us bachelors are open minded to the inevitable wife, and dare I say children. "So your saying there is a chance"
Bachelor's also pride themselves on being current and IN with the times. We make an effort to be knowledgeable of current pop culture, worldly news, and the latest technologies. This is critical to decipher if a beautiful, eye pleasing girl would rather be traditionally phone called, tindered, added on facebook, meet in person, picked-up via our car, or texted?
Overall, I highly advocate the bachelor lifestyle. It has it moments, but by no means is it perfect. Here's another inner secret to how bachelors think. We have a theory the reason the married man is glued to his wife, is because she was the "only" girl he could get. For example if the married man truly had GAME, then he would still be a bachelor, while tasting all of life's beauties, glory and the women creating it.

Comments

nicole dellert said…
This blog is the best comedic piece I have seen in a long time. Great job on ironically displaying American idiocy!
Thanks Nicole. We're going to take this as a compliment.
Anonymous said…
I agree with Nicole. I hope this is an intentionally sarcastic blog. The worst thing is man who thinks he's God's gift to women. The sad thing is that those type of men can rarely make a woman genuinely happy. Maybe it's better that you stay a bachelor.
all intelligent comments are welcomed. the simple goal is to remind people to keep an "open mindful" outlook to life, change, opportunity and society.
Anonymous said…
This is pure comedic gold. How long did it take you to craft such perfection? The missing & misplaced punctuation, the subtle misspellings. The unnecessary quotation marks. It really reads as though someone wrote this in earnest. This is the perfect example of Poe's Law.
this was written in pure honesty as to how some bachelor men actually think. each human is allowed to think differently.
Anonymous said…
Holy shit. I think that you're sad, your wondering why a man of such physical prowess isn't signing autographs all day. I thought it might be a joke too. But you really are this vain. Having confidence is good, but you need to be more humble. Your the girl who knows she's hot. She was the shit in HS, and thought everything would fall in her lap bc of her looks. Finally get her on a date and all she'll do is talk about herself. Guys who are hot but act like they don't know will do far better. Marriage involves talking, and genuine interest in someone besides yourself.

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